I question a lot lately if this parenting thing will ever become rewarding, but the truth is, I didn't say "I want to have kids so that I can be rewarded at some point in my life for it." No, I had kids because I wanted to have kids, I wanted to share my love and life with these little mini beings that resemble me. It's freaking hard! I think we give so much to them in hopes that they'll see our generosity, respect, our faith and love and use it in their own lives. I know, personally, I want them to see me act that way and immediately pick up on it and treat myself and others that way, but it takes time! At least I hope. I do sometimes see them exhibit this kindness and respect towards others, but definitely not towards me. Maybe someday if I'm lucky, for now treating others that way is the best I can wish for.
I guess ultimately our reward as parents is watching our children grow to be kind and respectful to others. To watch them fall in love and give something back to this world we brought them into. Hopefully, something amazing, something that will help to change the world. Even if that something is to volunteer their time to help the less fortunate, or to help to save lives. Or even if just to hold the door for the elderly woman behind them. And most important their happiness, above all else happiness is what we all strive for and to see my children grown and happy with their life choices would be the ultimate reward.
In the mean time I'm going to grit my teeth and bare it, maybe cry a little from time to time (or a lot)
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