I am not perfect! Are you? I don't know a perfect mother, even my own mother, as amazing as I think she is has her flaws and made mistakes with my sister and I growing up. Bottom line, there is no instruction manual for raising a child and the reason is simple. No 2 children are the same, each has there own individual personality, their own wants, and even their own expectations of how they think we should be as parents. I have 3 children my oldest is by far the most stubborn and hard headed. She is also the most independent, shes very smart about the world around her and very opinionated about that world. Don't you dare disagree with that opinion because you will loose, even if you're right! I've told her she should be a lawyer, of course she thinks that's a terrible career choice (insert eye roll.)
My middle daughter is one of the most affectionate children you'll ever meet and gets her feelings hurt very easily. She's not the cleanest child in the world, but what she lacks in cleanliness she makes up for in cuddles! She loves animals and has already decided at the tender age of 10 that she wants to be a veterinarian. Who knows maybe she'll do just that, or maybe she'll change her mind? I think it's pretty incredible that shes so aware of a career choice at all.
And my son, not sure if it's because he's a boy or the baby or both but he is laid back, quiet, chill and very clean and organized. I think they are all super smart and pretty amazing but yes, I treat them differently. I treat them differently because they are different people! My oldest thinks I mistreated her by having her help with the other 2 when they were younger, but she liked the responsibility at the time, she was always wanting to help. Of coarse she'll tell you now that she changed all of her sisters diapers! Although, I'm sure she did get little attention once my son was born because I had 2 kids in diapers one being a new born baby and she was 7 years old and had been able to dress herself in matching clothes, might I add, since she was 3! She's always been mature for her age. But I should have made it a point to spend more time with her back then. I was a young mother and didn't know any better. I regret that, now that she's 15 and going to be on her own soon I wish I would have cherished my time with her and used it more wisely! Once middle school started she and I grew apart, she got new friends and boys were very interesting to her and I was no longer in her line of sight. I shook it off as, "she's a teenager, that's just how they act" so I let her have her space to explore this new found world. I let her go out with friends and spend the night with friends and when I did try to spend time with her it was always, "ugh mom, I'm busy, or don't touch me," unless I was spending money on her, of course. As time went on the further and further apart we grew and it felt like the harder I tried the harder she pushed. So I gave up, I gave up on trying to bond with my daughter because she didn't want me. Then the only way I knew how to show her I loved her was to buy her things, she has a lot of things. Of course it was never enough or it wasn't the right things or the right size or something, there was always something wrong with every action I applied to our relationship. How does one handle that? This little girl growing into a woman who wants nothing to do with her mother, definitely wants nothing to do with any advise from her mother. How do you fix that.....
